The other night I couldn't sleep and I wound up laying in bed thinking till like 5am. This is usually a bad thing. It's sorta when my head fills with the worst of thoughts and there isn't anyone there to help me get rid of them. The topic in my mind this time was death.

I hate death. I hate seeing it. I hate that it even exists. Mind you, I am religious so I do believe in life after death. I know a corpse is just the body and that the person's spirit lives on. I know they'll be resurrected some day and be whole again. I know that. It's just the actually dying part that bothers me.

So I was thinking about death, my own in particular and was just feeling really down and honestly frightened by the idea. I always imagine myself dying in some really horrible way for some reason and being completely alone. So, while I was freaking myself out with all these terrible depressing thoughts and fears of mine I remembered an experience I had when I was about 11 or 12.

I had been jumping on a trampoline with my siblings and some friends of mine. I experienced what we called a double bounce. That's basically when someone lands in such a way that it causes you to be tossed really high into the air. It's fun, or least I thought so at the time. Well, this time I was tossed, only I didn't go up, I went out.

It's maybe a little hard to describe what happened next. I was flying through the air and the first thing going through my mind was this solid knowledge that I was going to crash head first into the ground and die. There wasn't really a doubt in my mind. I could already see in my mind the blood and chunks of my brain. It could imagine the frantic movement that would be buzzing around me, my friends, my siblings, my parents and my friend's mom, all of them trying to save my already extinguished life. I could see them crying and I felt terrible cause I knew there was nothing they could do. I was a goner.

Then I had this thought. What happens next? I'd learned about heaven and hell and I wasn't entirely sure I'd qualify for the better of the two.

Then this most amazing of things happened. I quite literally saw my life flash before my eyes. It was like a replay of every great moment in my life, good and bad. It could have lasted for hours for all I saw in that single second. For that brief moment my whole life came into perspective. I realized that the memories that most filled my mind, the most precious to me, were of my family and my siblings, green grass, blue skies, laughter, smiles. All those other things that I thought were important to me, weren't. No drawings, no school grades, no super expensive toys, they meant nothing to me. The only thing that mattered was the people whose lives I had touched. Not what they did for me, it was what I did for them that mattered. I then felt a peace like none other I have ever experienced. I thought, "Okay, God. I lived a good life. I'm happy. Whatever you want."

Then by some great miracle, I don't even know how it happened, my ankle got caught in the springs and I wound up dangling upside down. My head was a mere inch from the hard ground. I could feel the grass cushioning my head. I was surprised to say the least. I think an angel must've grabbed my ankle and shoved it in the springs cause there was a netting around them to prevent things from getting caught in there. I walked away without a scratch.

As I recalled this experience, I felt such relief. I thought, maybe death isn't so bad. Granted, I can't say I won't be tortured or experience pain, but at least I know the passing is pleasant... assuming of course that I've still got more good memories than bad. This sorta made me think on now though. It's been over 10 years... I wonder, if I had the same experience now, have I made new memories that would bring me joy, or have I gone and filled myself with the bad ones?

Anyway, I wanted to share this experience with ya'll cause it means a lot to me, and I really love you guys. I am curious though, have any of you had similar experiences? If so, what was it like for you?